A true gift of healing!
by Lui Gervais
The ad reads:
Climb on my massage table and let me give you some delicious,
sensitive, consensual erotic touch from head to toe, across every
inch of your body.Let my years of education and experience in yoga, bodywork, Neo-
Tantra, Taoist Erotic Massage and somatic touch awaken andcirculate your life force energy until your whole body feels open and
alive. Watch your thinking mind become quiet as the sensual waves
carry you forward. Your spiritual self rises to the surface as you
open into a rolling sea of sensual bliss.
“And you think…yeah! but no…I shouldn’t…but maybe…I’ll use a fake name…he’s hot…but he’s probably not any good…but I need this!…I hope no one finds out.”
As a facilitator for the BodyElectric School, I have been learning, giving, teaching and evolving the work of sensual erotic massage for many years. It is an honor to learn from this practice. To see the unique gift of healing it offers. To see how it challenges the shame I learned as a child. To stand in the truth of its power.
The Massage Giver
Learning how to give a sensual erotic massage is an extraordinarily powerful education. Not just in being a good lover but learning how to be sensitive to others. There is a wealth of unspoken information in following our partner’s breath, sound and physical responses. In giving a massage, we learn how to fold this flowing source of information into the choreography of our touch. We learn when and how to ask for guidance. We learn to track the expansion and contraction of the session, we step in to honor every yes and no, wanting more than anything to create a blissful suspended state of surrender, a masterpiece of somatic touch.
For massage givers, there is a unique pleasure in simply giving. Giving touch without simultaneously receiving touch. This one-way offer is its own kind of erotic delight and for some, it may be yet another way for them to access their own arousal.
The Massage Receiver
For those feeling lonely, unloved or in need of touch, seeking out sensual erotic massage can be the perfect antidote for their feelings of disconnection and isolation. The receiver lets go of all responsibilities. They give up the work of making any kind of creative choices. They stop caretaking others and cease all muscular effort. They give themselves the gift of healthy selfishness as they fall back into being cared for in this most beautiful, powerful and vulnerable way.
A sensual erotic massage isn’t focused on muscular pains, working out knots or providing physical therapy, although many clients enter with that story. If anything, it is a form of erotic therapy. The swirl of sensual flowing touch mixed with the fire of erotic energy creates a spa-like treatment; a penetrating steambath of ecstasy.
Separate Roles
One person gives. The other receives. These separate roles take the giver and receiver to different physical, emotional and spiritual spaces.
That asymmetry is not a problem. It is part of the experience. For those in need of sensuality and sexuality without the need or desire to create a mutual intimate connection, a sensual erotic massage can be a direct and efficient way to get certain needs met.
Shame
In Western society, getting a sensual erotic massage—and the work of offering them—can carry great shame. Making an appointment for one is often done in secret. Needing one is considered a moral weakness. Such a massage is often the butt of a joke or seen as unworthy of respect.
Fundamentally, there is nothing wrong with exploring our bodies and our pleasure. As we come up to the limits of how much energy we can hold, we may crash over into an ecstatic release and with it, free ourselves of our stress and separateness. Helping others reach toward that spiritual erotic peak is part of the healing process. Finding a great masseur or masseuse can be like finding a pot of gold. Having someone in our corner who inspires that kind of freedom is a meaningful source of healing, worthy of the same respect we give to other healing practices.